With so much illness surrounding her, Holly has found strength, faith, and support to live her life.
Family. Friends. Church. I remember one night just praying all night, what should I do? He [God] said that night, “Just love him [Ron]. Just love him.” I tried. He’s the one that left me. You just take things day by day and sometimes minute by minute. Sometimes you just have to get away from that person and go for a walk or you have to make supper.
Now, after Ron’s funeral, Holly realized that she “stuffed” many of her feelings.
There was no really dealing with it. You knew it was going to be over with sooner or later. You just kind of dealt with the best you could without getting angry, because it didn’t help. Sooner or later, it would be better.
She also remembered Ron’s good characteristics.
He was the most loving person. He would put himself into every relationship, into every person that he met. He had the most beautiful smile that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He made you feel like you were the only person on earth. He honest to goodness cared about people and loved them so much.
However, Holly found herself feeling devastated and would feel loss every time “he walked out the door and come back in a different person.” Finally, she started holding herself back from the relationship as she realized the good times were not going to last. She knew there would be bad times, but didn’t know that “it could get that bad.” She had never known anybody that sabotaged themselves so badly throughout their life as she experienced with Ron.